A Matter Of Great Faith

A post like this makes me think I should go private but I also feel that maybe somewhere out there in cyperspace...someone needs to hear this too.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I woke up every hour on the clock and finally at about 5:45am I couldn't take it anymore and so I went for a run. And then I came home and went straight to the temple to clear my head and comtemplate my feelings.

Now I am not tooting my own horn here by saying I am going to the temple but just to give a little insight into why I needed some spiritual uplifting.

Steven and I broke up last night. I won't disclose the reasons of course but it is just not working for now or ever. Who knows? But I just need to keep having faith. He promises to always take care of us.

When I was a laurel I had gone to the temple to do baptisms. So as I was waiting outside the baptristy for my Laurel Class, I was watching a bride and groom take pictures. I wasn't thinking of much and especially not of getting married, but an older gentlement who had just left the temple noticed me watching this couple and he turned to me and said something I will never forget:

"It is all a matter of great faith!"

That simple statement has really carried me through my past relationships. I didn't think much of it at the time and wondered why he was telling me this, but I realize now why he was insprired to tell me with it being so difficult for me to find the person I want to spend my life with and marry.

Steven is one of the most incredible guys I have ever known. He wants to do the right thing and honors his Priesthood and takes it very seriously. He works so hard and his work ethic is one of the reasons I was so attracted to him. He is funny and we laugh all the time. Constantly.

And I will miss him!

"Be Not Afraid...but Believing"

But life is still good. I am working part time for a Speech Pathologist and loving every minute. I was born to be Mom, Wife, and a Speech Pathologist. I swear it is in my blood:) I work with a girl now with Asperger's disease which is a high functioning form of Autism and it is so wonderful. She is a hoot to work with and we have a lot of fun together. And I work with a few speech impediments and administer speech and language screenings. I am also substitute teaching and working for my parent's business manager. I take the GRE in October and it has been different trying to get back in the groove of studying. All the schools I plan to apply to are back east so that should be fun. If I don't get in for this next Fall, I will just keep doing my best.

My sister is due November 2nd, Dallin is expected to play a lot in this next game on Friday, and Spencer hit his one year mark a week ago.

So life is good. If there is one thing I have learned in my lifetime it is that we can never appreciate the sweet if we don't experience the bitter.

May we all be faithful and trusting in His All-Knowing Hand!