PERSPECTIVE

A para asked me the other day at work why I went into speech and special education. Of course my normal response, “well I love kids and the ability to give them the ability to communicate since language is EVERYTHING…AND BLAH BLAH BLAH…”

I work in self contained on Mondays. These kids have everything from Autism, Down Syndrome, Mental Retardation, Cerebral Palsy, visually impaired (one of my students only sees light and dark), and one was born with an s-shaped spine. I was super nervous in the beginning because you never know what to expect. You don’t want to hurt them since most use wheelchairs or other devices for transportation. Some can only crawl or scoot and one little girl will use you to stand up and then take off on her own only to fall. She thinks it is the funniest game. Some drool constantly and so your hands, clothes and arms will be a bit covered at times. The smell can even be overwhelming and I was a bit uncomfortable touching and getting real close with them my first time. But as I was working with a little boy today on simply localizing sound and nodding his head for “no”, I was overcome. He climbed up into my lap, laid his head back against my chest and started to hum. He has been non-vocal his whole life. He didn’t want to work on his goals or nod his head no or turn his head, he just wanted some love and I was so happy that I was the one to give it. When these kids smile or laugh, it is like the whole world and all of its problems go away. They have these horrible physical and mental diseases that have crippled them and taken away so many possibilities for a normal and productive life. It is very humbling for me. They are so pure and so innocent and all they want is love.

They may have physical and mental limitations but we are not that much different from them. I have had cancer. I have a fear of commitment and trusting in love and being whole in relationships. This has led me to possibly losing the greatest man I know.

I have family members and close friends with mental illnesses. I know people or of people with addictions. I know people who are clinically depressed, have bi-polar, schizophrenia and so forth. I work with kids with learning disabilities and one who is in the 7th grade and you can hardly understand anything he is saying.

What about when we are judgmental, self righteous, prideful, selfish, disobedient, and we have the capacity to KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE DOING AND THAT IT IS WRONG. THESE KIDS DON’T.

We all deal with things on a daily basis but these kids put it all in perspective. They help me remember the important things and that I am so blessed. I can run. I can play normally outside with my friends. I can ride a bike. I can drive a car. I can feed myself. I can count to 10 and I know all my colors. I have every opportunity for success in this life. I just am grateful for these sweet, sweet spirits who are perfect and for reminding me that life is good and we are blessed. I need that constant reminder I guess.

So maybe that is why I went into my field. So that I could interact with people who humble me and bless my life and help me remember that I have no reason to complain or whine or moan or feel sorry for myself. Cause I am here to tell you…that they don’t. Ever. So why should I?

I am so grateful for the Atonement that heals our wounds and our broken hearts and can make us whole physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I am so grateful that maybe one day I will see these kids in heaven and they will no longer be strapped to a wheelchair with a feeding tube in their stomach. But rather running and laughing and playing with their friends. Because I am here to tell you…their limitations and trials and problems won’t be holding them back like ours to do us. I no longer feel sorry for them. I marvel at them.

And this is why I really decided to become a speech therapist. It only took 3 years and 6 perfect people to help me figure it out.